Priorities: The Space Race – Checked?

24 May 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

I am fascinated by astronomy. At night if time and location permit I look up and try to identify the little constellations I know and make my own in secret. A much awaited visit to the Planetarium recently instilled in me once more my childhood liking for stars and jazz.

The Daily Mirror today – thank you for all the updates – brings us news of Sri Lanka joining the global space race. This was immediately after reading that the country would be ready to implement the LLRC recommendations.

At first I questioned at the necessity of appointing a Committee (headed by the Presidential Secretary himself) to implement the recommendations made by the Commission. While I do appreciate the division of labour and delegation of responsibilities, the caricature of a few politicos hovered over a desktop at a conference table fails to escape my mind.

Proceeded by this realisation, I read on Sri Lanka’s venture into the stars. The numbers are big. I think they are even bigger than the tsunami relief that we received. We all know which seas they were washed into.

Despite being a space enthusiast I am not for Sri Lanka launching its first space satellite. It would have been more apt if it happened a few years ago as an initiative taken with Arthur C. Clarke involved – yes fan girl talking.

Yet now, I see this as an ill-planned, ill-timed course of plan, like most other things we see happening today.

P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy. More content could be obtained from the front page story of the Daily Financial Times.

Developed Country Much?

23 May 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Some people sure do act fast. So now SF is to have a new political party lu: “Democratic Party”, Daily Mirror tells me. I thought I read somewhere that upon being released from court that he won’t be allowed to partake in politics or something to that effect. Pardon the lack of information but politics is just not my cup of tea. I understand it and am interested in it, in bits. Like business and law. In my defence, I am still learning.

When we were in school, I remember Social Studies very well. After leaving school I realised that not only did they not teach us “how to socialise” but they also did not teach history that escaped the shores for Sri Lanka – not the syllabus I was taught at least. Such a fail. My knowledge of the World Wars and Revolutions has been extracted from the internet and literatures.

One of the things I learnt for Social Studies – yes bits have retained in my memory – was the difference between developed and developing countries, the first world and the third world. I remember – I hope I have remembered right – that having two major political parties, the Government and the Opposition.

Clearly, our country is not heading in that direction. Especially not with the new political party joining the x-number of unheard and unseen opposing political forces. Not that I’m against Fonseka – it may seem like it is so – but no I am not against him or his actions. I am apathetic towards the state of politics, I haven’t voted to date – I had legitimate issues being a December born – and I don’t live in the country.

Would it be too idealistic and juvenile to ask for a joint Opposition with well “opposing” points of view?

I think yes.

P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy.

Priorities: SF’s Release – Checked?

22 May 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

So Sarath Fonseka was released. I leave out “General” because firstly, it genuinely slipped my mind with him constantly being referred to as “SF” online and secondly, as I saw on Twitter yesterday, he was stripped of his title as “General” so I am correct in that sense – I would like to believe.

This is not meant to be a “political” post – pray if there was anything as such – but merely a perspective of an apathetic – the apathy which is driven by ignorance, and nonchalance – individual who has been diligently observing the reactions of the general public and media to SF’s release.

Driving back from work yesterday I see the Pelawatte-Talawatugoda stretch littered with bits of paper. Uncle tells me that crackers were lit in celebration of SF’s release. Having been in the edit room the entire day and mobile net being down, I did not have time for my regular news updates. I feel nothing at his statement and I look away.

The problem of my not caring for SF’s release came up a few times at home. I simply told my Mother that at least people knew where he was. I mean the whole world did right? But what about Prageeth Eknaligoda? I don’t know much of his case either – yes I am aware that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing – but what about him? He’s been MIA for a while now. What about Lasantha Wickrematunge’s murder? Have the assassins being brought to justice yet?

My concern for the mentioned names is not a result of my brief experience in media. SF was and still is from the looks of it an individual, people would not miss out on, for his war victories, Presidential candidacy or court case. However, those abducted by white vans – someone tells me that they’ll ban white vans soon, such a fail course of action in my opinion if it were to be implemented – are soon forgotten. Or it gets better: they are remembered and prayed for on human rights day, press freedom day or are brought in when an opportunity arises for them to voice their opinions. I’m not one for petitions or rallies as I fail to see the point of it, but at times I suppose it is the last resort for some.

In the midst of the country’s kickass development strategy and the probable marina plan, one thing’s for sure: Sri Lanka needs to get its priorities straight whether it be by implementing the LLRC recommendations, the Thirteenth Amendment or searching for those missing individuals.

P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy.

When Google Becomes Inadequate

17 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

As most young adults of my age, I too am at a standstill with regard to the question of finding my purpose in life, its meaning, what I am destined to do and so on.  I know that I should pray, ask God for the answers and He will give them to me. But in the mean time, I am to seek for them as well, aren’t I?

When looking at the Scriptures as an option, I wonder, should I interpret it and apply it to my life thus or should I take it as a given and not take the road of our “Jihad-ians”? Besides the Holy Books, we also open our Homepage. But what happens when Google limits itself to being merely an SEO? I would like to believe that my queries for the search bar have a tad bit more depth than, ‘Why do White people dislike Black people?’

I keep telling my peers that it’s the age. I also support it with my studies from  Developmental Psychology. But what happens when I am put in a position to apply it to my own self? Do I comfort myself by blaming it on my hormones and the developing psyche? We keep learning and relearning about discovering our sense of self and the other and oh, literary theory does bring out the worse in you, at times at least. But then, like all other disciplines, despite it belonging to humanities, why can’t I see my learnings being applied to my own life? Why isn’t it helping me make the decisions I am supposed to make?

I wish things were like the way before. Like my Mother’s time. Or even Grandmama’s. Times when there were five career options to choose from. Times when you get married when you turn twenty-one. Times when you have your first Grandchild when you are forty.

Like my friend said, ‘It’s not like we are not getting any younger.’ To older adults out there, please do not indulge in laughter. Times have changed. If you thought that the technological revolution made things easier, believe me it hasn’t. It has made us, the apparent “future” of the world, too critical of ourselves and of everyone else around us. Not knowing what you want to do in life could be suicidal, let alone frustrating.

Twelve Hours Ago, The World Was a Happier Place

01 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Twelve hours ago, I didn’t know that life could get any worse. Or that the then-present situation had the faintest probability of becoming more miserable than it already was.

Twelve hours ago, I don’t know sadness, hurt, disappointment, rage, bitterness and loyalty the way I do now.

With much gratitude to a dear friend for the title, I couldn’t have thought of anything more apt. Never had I, he nor her have thought that what happened, had the slightest possibility of happening. Of all the hardships that had come our way, it would merely be an understatement to say that this was the hardest. Looking back, the cribbing, the complaining, the cursing, all seem irrelevant now. We don’t regret what we’ve said or done, but we do regret what has happened now.

An institution governed by clergy. What more could have one asked for but compassion and moreover, their ability to keep a promise. The problem would have undoubtedly been in the non-production of an “official” statement. Nothing was neither put down on paper nor spoken of in the presence of objective witnesses.

Twelve hours later, I grew up.

Exploiting That Freedom

24 Jan 2012 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

First impressions count. As kids we are taught not to judge a book by its cover. As adults we are told that it is important to look best when presenting oneself the first time: ideally an interview.

However, there is a certain segment of society who has facial issues, literally. I for one, empathise with them. Or maybe I am one of them. I do try to look presentable, most of the time at least, but still, it is just not enough. Since adolescence, I looked the “type” who disobeyed her parents, smoked up and hooked up with random boys. Maybe the penultimate and the last phrases have been blessed with hyperbole. Point being, I looked “that” type.

In reality however, things weren’t as rosy. I was given freedom, apparently lots of it – as I was told by some of the kids who grew up. But I never really found the necessity to well, misuse it. I’d rather stay at home and sleep with no disturbances as opposed to bringing friends over and throwing Hollywood-inspired house parties. The only house parties I did enjoy were the ones I threw for my Sims. I was allowed to go wherever I wanted to, and leaving aside the exception of say, two or three instances, my Mum and I never seemed to disagree on where I could and could not go.

Also, I apparently have a very cool Mum. She is cool, I agree. But I think what makes her “cooler” is the fact that my Sister and I made it a point, since childhood to tell her things, as opposed to keeping it away from her. Thereby we were given freedom, and most importantly trusted.

But that is not the point is it? Maybe due to the overlapping of ethnicities, us siblings may not have the typical Melayu babath mukha or sharp Kandyan features. So what if my sister likes experimenting with her hair and I enjoy drilling my ears with jewellery? Conventionally speaking and observing, such activities speak of questionable upbringing, indecency and of course the unfailing “that” type.

So I am told that I look Indian now. Furthermore, my accent compliments my features.

In non-Indian clothes and regular jewellery, all I need is a bottle on my left and a cigarette in my right.

Passive smoking is cool, the cigarette tastes a little blah to me though.

Bottles are a big no-no.

It doesn’t make a different though does it?

She is still “that” type.

Oh fuck em all. Re-evaluate your own kids before you make your pass your blessed verdict on others.

The Ugly Truth

22 Jan 2012 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The title remains blank. Clearly we all don’t start by naming things. It might work for some people, if not all.

Possibly as a result of watching too many serials, – yes besides the fact of transforming to a bed-potato, since “couch” doesn’t seem to work in my context, – it gets you thinking about: how much of time you waste, how you could be productive otherwise, why the director made him stand that way while saying those lines to her, why does the storyline seem familiar and to an extent applicable to your own?

A good friend was telling me lately of the story of the idiot box. How information is easily available and  how we make even less of an effort in extracting it. We are indeed in the “Age of the Stupid”.

I say I can’t write any more because my muse – Heaven forbid the existence of any months before – has found its way out of my, uhm soul? Whatever I do write now, or blog, since that has become synonymous to writing, is pathetic. But then, it’s not as though good writing for equivalent to my writing anyway.

I hardly read. My writing is horrendous. I’m worried about how fucked up the world is that I refuse accept my own fucked up life.

A title finds it self to the post.

I assume that I find my work-life balance.

We all live in our own little assumptions, interpretations and complexities. No one really gives a rat’s bottom about an awful post, an equally awful blog and a fucked up title. Nope, no one really cares.

That Love-Hate Relationship

17 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I don’t know what else to call it. I know for sure that it doesn’t reach either extreme of the afore mentioned emotions but it reaches near there all right.

It is one that is defined by unwanted telephone calls, verbal lashings – silently endured and responded to from one end – heights of disrespect from either end, but still it survives.

I wonder if there is a mutual ground that we both stand on. We work for the same cause I agree. The other’s motives maybe slightly different from mine. Clearly, it has to be. However, it is not as though we even have a common enemy that we are up against.

The binary of the two is obvious. One is undoubtedly more authoritative than the other. Yet, the other knows that the relationship has to co-exist.

What I do not understand further is that we do have our moments of mirth, sometimes perhaps unknown to others.

I do acknowledge that God is great. I also do acknowledge that sometimes, some things were not meant for our understanding.

We No Longer Have Time to Save the World

16 Jan 2012 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I used to be an environmentalist. Then I came to India.

With all due respect to Indians, this is not me being my usual racist ways but I am truly and deeply concerned. The country has astounding rates of poverty – no I do not know the figures but I know it is bad – it is overpopulated – contradict me, but when there isn’t room to budge in the street, yes it is crowded – and no one is doing anything about it.

The place where I live: a reputed girls hostel in an even more reputed educational institution. I was surprised at how much of food – purchased from outside – was wasted, how many lights were left on, taps unclosed but then my bewilderment was nothing in comparison to what it was upon the dawn of Christmas. While gaudy may perhaps be the ideal term to describe the decorations, the number of lights used – not even CFL mind you – were just, so many. To my utter amazement, while most electricity was consumed by these ugly – I know that everything is beautiful in its own way, but even the term grotesque beauty would not suffice to describe the pathetic state of the driveway.

That’s when it dawned on me. Please note that my observations are entirely objective.

The West maybe is not so keen on letting the East come to power because they wouldn’t want consumers of a similar nature in this world. On the contrary, like most in the East, I do agree that the West would not want to share their resources with the rest of the world. Bah. There goes our Economics lesson on the equal distribution of resources flushed down the toilet.

But then again, I cannot help but blame natural human tendencies. The more we earn and the more our purchasing power increases, the more we buy. We make ends meet and even surpass it, at times.

I agree that God did not create us perfect so that we could find our purpose in this world. Just today I was justifying man’s flaws and the search for purpose. But what happens when all our flaws submerge to the same big fat ugly truth?

I used to be an environmentalist. Then I grew up. I manage my expenses less and I’m also ashamed of myself when compared to what, my philosophies once were. India only opened my eyes to the reality I was denying.

Creating Impressions

10 Oct 2011 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My sister always said that a good impression was more important than a better expression, or vice versa, or something to that extent. But what happens when creating either a good impression or an expression was simply not your thing? What happens, when your “true self” is revealed only upon someone getting to know you?

While in school, I apparently “looked” the many boyfriends type and spoilt. Or so they said. Little does anyone know that I never had a boyfriend while in school! As for spoilt. I won’t say that I am not. But having observed spoilt and unspoilt children, my age I would say that I was average spoilt; spoilt to the basic extent that any parent would spoil their kid – if that made any sense to anyone.

Now in college, I look the type who smokes, smokes up, drinks and parties. For the love of Susan. I like partying only because I love dancing. However, the good side to keeping quiet and bearing all “assumed impressions” the last few years, wisdom has begun to surface? Wink wink.

Mama used to pinch the living lights out of me under the table to keep me from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or worse, the right thing at the wrong time. As for the faux pas, but that’s getting better. Phew. However, once the backdrop of formality is removed, life only gets better. But that is not what is in question today, is it? Most people are more interested in what lies on the surface as opposed to actually seeing what is beneath that layer of social malfunction. Sigh. FML.

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