25 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, Personal Profiles
Tags: 2012, All Smiles, Awareness, Blissfully Beautiful, Blogging, First-timers, Journalism, Soul Searching, Sri Lanka, Work
The past month has been a whirlwind of events. Well sort of. Sure there were times when I didn’t do absolutely anything and there were many times and nights I have spent with people twice my age – don’t get me wrong here, it’s not what you think I can assure you that – but like everything else in my life, I adapted. I enjoyed talking about their mid-life crises and education and correcting the older-adults when they went wrong on topics that I have read more on.
Then there was the internship. We all know what happened to last year’s one 
It was a ball of fun and thank Heavens for The Editor – yes Boss I know you are reading – I worked for some 10-15 days of the 30 day internship.
This time around, I got serious. I worked for 26+ days, my internship diary tells me – guess it added up to the few days I took off while Akki was here – and I did learn a few things. Or a lot. I don’t know.
I learnt the importance of language. Thanks to my running off to India and my extensive use of English, my Sinhala is atrocious. This statement is made based on the fact that I have studied in Sinhala for nearly fourteen-and-a-half years of my life. I learnt that at a place where Sinhala and Tamil are the most familiar, English plays the role it was ideally supposed to: it acts as common ground to those who are not well-versed in the other official language. English neither takes over the existence of everything else, nor does not-knowing the language be a moment of shame. My many moments of shame arose when my Sinhala failed me and my non-speaking-Tamil-Muslim-ness came into being.
I also learnt the joys and the downside to a 9-5.30 job. I loved my time at FT. It was good fun and a heap of work, Sunday-Friday. That’s worse than college. However, over here it was fairly chilled out – rather I was fairly chilled out, not that great for an intern I suppose – and I did have time to do things after work and I had a weekend to call my own. I also did find myself switching off after 4.30 pm – fact – and the zombied look I would scare my folks every morning.
Another, uhm “lesson” that came my way was the futility of education. I have been debating on this topic for the past year and thus contemplating on the necessity of reading for a second degree. For starters, we learnt Vegas! Vegas is so old school and not as cool as FCP! Fine, we all don’t have Macs. But there’s more. The past two semesters boasted of two subjects: Audio and Video Editing and Television Appreciation and Film Studies. Besides the types of shots we learnt for both, I didn’t really find myself “applying” whatever nonsense they taught us. I found myself learning – not re-learning or applying but learning from scratch – new things everyday so much so that I felt a burden to all these lovely people here who were only more than willing to help. Especially the tea folks who knew that I loved my mildly-caffeinated beverage 
Realisation: I am not cut out for television. I don’t really know what I am cut out for actually, but I know that television may not be my thing. I found myself coming in the way of so many people and even a little interview with one bloke would require the service of so many others! In this aspect I found print media way cooler with or without the availability of those lazy photographers.
Of the career choices I see ahead of me however, I did realise that I would like something that is internet-related and sitting in one place with a pc sounds good – minus the fat and other job-related pains I would acquire.
I learnt much about concerns that I would have not read about otherwise. I think my previous posts have been impacted greatly by my readings done here. Those who know me will know for sure not to dare speak of politics, law etc with me. I would not only die of boredom but would have one too many blonde moments to handle. Now, not only could I have a half-knowledge-d discussion about the Constitution and its Amendments, I can also speak of the, this party, that party, tea party business. This place has made me way cooler.
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24 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Apathy, Awareness, Blogging, Developing Countries, First-timers, Hypocrisy, Journalism, Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Politics, Sri Lanka, Trying Times
I am fascinated by astronomy. At night if time and location permit I look up and try to identify the little constellations I know and make my own in secret. A much awaited visit to the Planetarium recently instilled in me once more my childhood liking for stars and jazz.
The Daily Mirror today – thank you for all the updates – brings us news of Sri Lanka joining the global space race. This was immediately after reading that the country would be ready to implement the LLRC recommendations.
At first I questioned at the necessity of appointing a Committee (headed by the Presidential Secretary himself) to implement the recommendations made by the Commission. While I do appreciate the division of labour and delegation of responsibilities, the caricature of a few politicos hovered over a desktop at a conference table fails to escape my mind.
Proceeded by this realisation, I read on Sri Lanka’s venture into the stars. The numbers are big. I think they are even bigger than the tsunami relief that we received. We all know which seas they were washed into.
Despite being a space enthusiast I am not for Sri Lanka launching its first space satellite. It would have been more apt if it happened a few years ago as an initiative taken with Arthur C. Clarke involved – yes fan girl talking.
Yet now, I see this as an ill-planned, ill-timed course of plan, like most other things we see happening today.
P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy. More content could be obtained from the front page story of the Daily Financial Times.
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22 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Apathy, Awareness, Blogging, First-timers, Hypocrisy, Journalism, Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Politics, Sri Lanka, Trying Times
So Sarath Fonseka was released. I leave out “General” because firstly, it genuinely slipped my mind with him constantly being referred to as “SF” online and secondly, as I saw on Twitter yesterday, he was stripped of his title as “General” so I am correct in that sense – I would like to believe.
This is not meant to be a “political” post – pray if there was anything as such – but merely a perspective of an apathetic – the apathy which is driven by ignorance, and nonchalance – individual who has been diligently observing the reactions of the general public and media to SF’s release.
Driving back from work yesterday I see the Pelawatte-Talawatugoda stretch littered with bits of paper. Uncle tells me that crackers were lit in celebration of SF’s release. Having been in the edit room the entire day and mobile net being down, I did not have time for my regular news updates. I feel nothing at his statement and I look away.
The problem of my not caring for SF’s release came up a few times at home. I simply told my Mother that at least people knew where he was. I mean the whole world did right? But what about Prageeth Eknaligoda? I don’t know much of his case either – yes I am aware that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing – but what about him? He’s been MIA for a while now. What about Lasantha Wickrematunge’s murder? Have the assassins being brought to justice yet?
My concern for the mentioned names is not a result of my brief experience in media. SF was and still is from the looks of it an individual, people would not miss out on, for his war victories, Presidential candidacy or court case. However, those abducted by white vans – someone tells me that they’ll ban white vans soon, such a fail course of action in my opinion if it were to be implemented – are soon forgotten. Or it gets better: they are remembered and prayed for on human rights day, press freedom day or are brought in when an opportunity arises for them to voice their opinions. I’m not one for petitions or rallies as I fail to see the point of it, but at times I suppose it is the last resort for some.
In the midst of the country’s kickass development strategy and the probable marina plan, one thing’s for sure: Sri Lanka needs to get its priorities straight whether it be by implementing the LLRC recommendations, the Thirteenth Amendment or searching for those missing individuals.
P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy.
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18 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Awareness, Blogging, First-timers, Home&Co., Kill All Boys :), Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Rejuvenation of the Renaissance, Soul Searching, Sri Lanka, Trying Times, Yindiar, Youth
The phrase “closing shop” is more familiar but I felt that would indicate hope, of the shop reopening the next day and that was not entirely what I wanted to convey. Chapter seemed more like it. One would always reopen a chapter only as means of reference – at least that is what I do.
The influx of posts – yes three days in a row is an influx indeed with my average of two a month – is not a result of frustration or anger. Maybe slightly but not entirely. Sadness has also overtaken me. Sadness and realisation. My sister flew back to Dubai today, that didn’t really feel that great – still in the process of accepting. I’d be flying back soon to the land of masala and no spice. I have an extra paper to take now thanks to my nonchalant behaviour and external influences.
In the pudding – a word influenced by my last tweet – I also try to thrown in a little hope, a little strength to move on and close chapter.
I’ve written only one-hundred-seventy-now-two words. It’s too short a post I feel. But then again, it’s not as though I really want to write more. My little stream of consciousness ran out of steam post-lunch.
Next chapter: Do not stop for lunch while writing.
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17 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Awareness, Blogging, Individuality, Life in a New Land, Pink!, Pressure, Soul Searching, Youth
In my process of maturing I have come in to terms with a few things in life. Or maybe a lot, but not that all of it matters to this post any way.
I would like to blame it on education and living away, since we all like playing the blame game and not taking responsibility for our actions – for a few changes in me seen within the last two-three years.
I am quieter. Not entirely quiet, I do still talk a fair amount, yet I don’t get yelled at to shut it, as I did some years into my teenage life. I think it’s a good thing. Besides being now looked at as a “lady” – total Win – Being quiet has its advantages and so far, that is all I see. This has resulted in me being more observant and thus guiding me in my formation of opinions of people, situations, conflicts – yes I could be judgemental but it should be kept in mind that I also have the ability to see both sides of the story.
I also apply my little knowledge of psychology to things around me. While they do say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, so as far as I’m concerned, my diagnosis of myself, is fine and to some extent stands true! Besides the usual traces of Schizophrenia I do also see the applicability of the development characteristics seen in respective age categories that I or someone else belong to.
Now comes the idea of displacement. (Hang me for having thought of it before as projection. I seem to have gotten my Freud all over the place.) Now I think and I believe that I do practice displacement. I do channel my anger, frustration and those unexpressed feelings and etcetera in my subconscious to more socially accepted methods, in my case: cooking, writing, cleaning / house keeping – to an extent oft labelled compulsive. I may not be necessarily kickass at any of these but that’s not really the point. This displacement has also made me enjoy these tasks. At times I write for fun or cook when I’m bored.
I predict a very happy life ahead. Hopefully one with money, lots of shoes and a sustained sense of social responsibility.
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16 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Awareness, Blogging, First-timers, Ignorance is not always blissful, Individuality, Journalism, Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Planner, Pressure, Soul Searching, Understanding The Opposite Sex, Women, Work, Youth
A recent tweet by @Laugh it got me thinking and of course, laughing.
For those who know me, I am the last person who should be blogging on “love” as we know it. For what it’s worth, I feel that my opinion of two cents is in fact required. That’s what most bloggers try to do anyway yes?
I was never a romantic person. Still am not. I find Valentine’s Day silly, holding hands and ladida and whatever else that follows. As opposites do attract and the formation of the binary equation is required, I’ve dated guys who are well, comparatively more romantic than I am. Which I think is a good thing, after all, someone needs to have that romantic bone.
For me, being in a relationship used to come down to one thing: compatibility. It’s a lesson I learnt from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” while analysing the relationship between Elizabeth and Darcy. I firmly believe that love is to some extent momentary – the definition and time period of this word could vary for all of us – and therefore, as you have the potential to fall “in” love, there is also a chance of you falling “out” of love. If compatibility between the two is there however, the relationship should, and will work.
Based on experience, I found another factor that contributes towards the sustenance of a relationship: communication. It’s something I definitely to work on. I have a “list” of people – I’m not kidding – who matter to me. I also am a workaholic – to some extent when I am not on vacation! I also believe that relationships needn’t be prioritised over work #FailSeni Thus despite studying and being involved in a communication related industry, personal communication for me is a huge fail.
Like my choice of career and many other things in life, I don’t know what to do now. Not with regard to relationships or any darn thing that seems to revolve around me. One thing I do know for certain is that my presence online is increasing, which I guess is a good thing. At least I have a virtual life that I could speak highly of #Win
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20 Apr 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Awareness, Developing Countries, Ignorance is not always blissful, Islam, Journalism, Oppression, Sri Lanka
This post is ironic as I too am presently in a media organisation, but then, I could justify my statement by stating that I do not work for a “news” organisation and therefore the post does not necessarily apply to me. However, the post is being written from the perspective of a citizen and not a media personnel.
Just today I was Googling – since most inspiration is drawn from this domain – for news happening in the country as I needed a story having lost one of my leads. The only story which seemed newsworthy to pop up on Google was that egg-less chicken. All I could hope for is that this being a one-off case and not something that would happen more frequently. I like my eggs and chicken as two separate entities.
A few hours later, something newsworthy did come up. The Dambulla mosque attacks or protests or something to that extent – I am not too sure. Why? Because there was no information on the internet – again, since that is our first source of information. Tweeps from Sri Lanka waited patiently online to hear any piece of information with regard to what was happening in Dambulla. A foreign correspondent from BBC was supposed to be responsible for the “breaking” of this news. Pray, on behalf of all citizens I ask, where were our local news organisations during this time? Print and electronic media have their local or regional correspondents and where were they during this vital hour? Hats off to Ceylon Today for being the first official media for providing a few lines with regard to the situation but what about the rest of the media?
People turn to the fourth estate for information. When this information is not provided when something “new” or “news” takes place, pray then, what is the purpose of media after all?
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15 Feb 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, All Smiles, Awareness, First-timers, Individuality, Pink!, Soul Searching, Theatre, Trying Times, Women
Life has been challenging. They say that the rich have no aim or goal in life because they’ve reached the pinnacle of economic stability and therefore are blessed with eternal happiness. At this point in life, I do wholeheartedly agree with afore mentioned declaration. I do believe that money can buy you happiness. A new pair of shoes, lingerie and good food are always the best anti-depressants for me.
I am called a shopaholic. I completely disagree. I do not have the resources to shop as much as I would like to. Nonetheless a part of me is thrilled at this fact. As at now my conversion to consumerism is tragic, if at the availability of resources this is only bound to increase at an even more rapid pace. But then, I shop to feel good. It helps, at least momentarily. For all those out there suffering with addictions, you may not necessarily take a drag because you are depressed. It is a culture that you have imbibed in you because it is something that has happened over time. But to those who visit bars when you are depressed, you feel momentarily better eh? So what’s the matter with retail therapy, over-eating or even binge-eating? It all works on the same lines.
I believe in the motto of wanting solutions and not problems. I picked it up from a flick I watched, and it is also a frequent statement uttered by the Director herself. But then, life is all about problems isn’t it? There is always something that we strive for. A goal we have for the next five years or even for the following day. A task that should be completed today and not be put off for tomorrow. Seems like we have more common ground with the Sims than we knew.
Yet we complain. We complain at the speed of life. We complain about not having time. Yet we do not attempt at keeping up with all that progressive jazz around us, nor do we attempt at managing our time better. We continue to engage in the arts of procrastination and whining, so much so that we miss out on the times that we should be working and making the most of the time we got.
The clock is ticking. I pick out my pair of shoes while making a mental note of the song I want to be played at my funeral.
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01 Feb 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Apathy, Awareness, Black, Devil #win, Doomsday, First-timers, Life in a New Land, Miserable, Pressure, Theatre, Trying Times, Youth
Twelve hours ago, I didn’t know that life could get any worse. Or that the then-present situation had the faintest probability of becoming more miserable than it already was.
Twelve hours ago, I don’t know sadness, hurt, disappointment, rage, bitterness and loyalty the way I do now.
With much gratitude to a dear friend for the title, I couldn’t have thought of anything more apt. Never had I, he nor her have thought that what happened, had the slightest possibility of happening. Of all the hardships that had come our way, it would merely be an understatement to say that this was the hardest. Looking back, the cribbing, the complaining, the cursing, all seem irrelevant now. We don’t regret what we’ve said or done, but we do regret what has happened now.
An institution governed by clergy. What more could have one asked for but compassion and moreover, their ability to keep a promise. The problem would have undoubtedly been in the non-production of an “official” statement. Nothing was neither put down on paper nor spoken of in the presence of objective witnesses.
Twelve hours later, I grew up.
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24 Jan 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Apathy, Awareness, Black, Home&Co., Hypocrisy, Ignorance is not always blissful, Individuality, Life in a New Land, Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Pressure, Soul Searching, Trying Times, Youth
First impressions count. As kids we are taught not to judge a book by its cover. As adults we are told that it is important to look best when presenting oneself the first time: ideally an interview.
However, there is a certain segment of society who has facial issues, literally. I for one, empathise with them. Or maybe I am one of them. I do try to look presentable, most of the time at least, but still, it is just not enough. Since adolescence, I looked the “type” who disobeyed her parents, smoked up and hooked up with random boys. Maybe the penultimate and the last phrases have been blessed with hyperbole. Point being, I looked “that” type.
In reality however, things weren’t as rosy. I was given freedom, apparently lots of it – as I was told by some of the kids who grew up. But I never really found the necessity to well, misuse it. I’d rather stay at home and sleep with no disturbances as opposed to bringing friends over and throwing Hollywood-inspired house parties. The only house parties I did enjoy were the ones I threw for my Sims. I was allowed to go wherever I wanted to, and leaving aside the exception of say, two or three instances, my Mum and I never seemed to disagree on where I could and could not go.
Also, I apparently have a very cool Mum. She is cool, I agree. But I think what makes her “cooler” is the fact that my Sister and I made it a point, since childhood to tell her things, as opposed to keeping it away from her. Thereby we were given freedom, and most importantly trusted.
But that is not the point is it? Maybe due to the overlapping of ethnicities, us siblings may not have the typical Melayu babath mukha or sharp Kandyan features. So what if my sister likes experimenting with her hair and I enjoy drilling my ears with jewellery? Conventionally speaking and observing, such activities speak of questionable upbringing, indecency and of course the unfailing “that” type.
So I am told that I look Indian now. Furthermore, my accent compliments my features.
In non-Indian clothes and regular jewellery, all I need is a bottle on my left and a cigarette in my right.
Passive smoking is cool, the cigarette tastes a little blah to me though.
Bottles are a big no-no.
It doesn’t make a different though does it?
She is still “that” type.
Oh fuck em all. Re-evaluate your own kids before you make your pass your blessed verdict on others.
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