Priorities: The Space Race – Checked?

24 May 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

I am fascinated by astronomy. At night if time and location permit I look up and try to identify the little constellations I know and make my own in secret. A much awaited visit to the Planetarium recently instilled in me once more my childhood liking for stars and jazz.

The Daily Mirror today – thank you for all the updates – brings us news of Sri Lanka joining the global space race. This was immediately after reading that the country would be ready to implement the LLRC recommendations.

At first I questioned at the necessity of appointing a Committee (headed by the Presidential Secretary himself) to implement the recommendations made by the Commission. While I do appreciate the division of labour and delegation of responsibilities, the caricature of a few politicos hovered over a desktop at a conference table fails to escape my mind.

Proceeded by this realisation, I read on Sri Lanka’s venture into the stars. The numbers are big. I think they are even bigger than the tsunami relief that we received. We all know which seas they were washed into.

Despite being a space enthusiast I am not for Sri Lanka launching its first space satellite. It would have been more apt if it happened a few years ago as an initiative taken with Arthur C. Clarke involved – yes fan girl talking.

Yet now, I see this as an ill-planned, ill-timed course of plan, like most other things we see happening today.

P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy. More content could be obtained from the front page story of the Daily Financial Times.

Priorities: SF’s Release – Checked?

22 May 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

So Sarath Fonseka was released. I leave out “General” because firstly, it genuinely slipped my mind with him constantly being referred to as “SF” online and secondly, as I saw on Twitter yesterday, he was stripped of his title as “General” so I am correct in that sense – I would like to believe.

This is not meant to be a “political” post – pray if there was anything as such – but merely a perspective of an apathetic – the apathy which is driven by ignorance, and nonchalance – individual who has been diligently observing the reactions of the general public and media to SF’s release.

Driving back from work yesterday I see the Pelawatte-Talawatugoda stretch littered with bits of paper. Uncle tells me that crackers were lit in celebration of SF’s release. Having been in the edit room the entire day and mobile net being down, I did not have time for my regular news updates. I feel nothing at his statement and I look away.

The problem of my not caring for SF’s release came up a few times at home. I simply told my Mother that at least people knew where he was. I mean the whole world did right? But what about Prageeth Eknaligoda? I don’t know much of his case either – yes I am aware that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing – but what about him? He’s been MIA for a while now. What about Lasantha Wickrematunge’s murder? Have the assassins being brought to justice yet?

My concern for the mentioned names is not a result of my brief experience in media. SF was and still is from the looks of it an individual, people would not miss out on, for his war victories, Presidential candidacy or court case. However, those abducted by white vans – someone tells me that they’ll ban white vans soon, such a fail course of action in my opinion if it were to be implemented – are soon forgotten. Or it gets better: they are remembered and prayed for on human rights day, press freedom day or are brought in when an opportunity arises for them to voice their opinions. I’m not one for petitions or rallies as I fail to see the point of it, but at times I suppose it is the last resort for some.

In the midst of the country’s kickass development strategy and the probable marina plan, one thing’s for sure: Sri Lanka needs to get its priorities straight whether it be by implementing the LLRC recommendations, the Thirteenth Amendment or searching for those missing individuals.

P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy.

With The Dark Hour Approaching

30 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , ,

So Earth Hour is to take place this Saturday, same time, all the places. I still recall the madness and frenzy when it took place last year. Running around the hostel trying to switch off all lights with the irony of having to see the warden watching the idiot box in darkness.

This year, Earth Hour is coming and the weather will “supposedly” not permit anyone to turn off their fans and boredom will keep them from shutting down their laptops. I read up on controversies that led to this campaign and they speak of the fumes of candle and how it is hazardous to the environment.

Furthermore, the theme for 2012 speaks on the lines of “If you will, I will”. I don’t know how many people will, or comprehend the necessity of this not-yet-commercialised-save-the-earth-campaign let alone “will” for it, thus it’d just leave me and well, myself. Oh and, I, too.

The problem I see with the world today is the fact that they take everything for granted. The fact that there is an unlimited supply of whatever required available with dealers, both legal and illegal. Despite the horrendous economic calamity that is taking place, I sincerely doubt that the economy has not thrived as much it is now since the time of the barter system. People are in debt, yet they continue to buy. Fuel prices increases, yet the sale in the number of vehicles do not decrease. CoL is atrocious and the dollar back home is gaining like there is no tomorrow, yet people continue to populate and buy luxury items that could feed hundreds, if not thousands.

In this light, why should people practice Earth Hour? Production has to run in order to avert colossal losses. People have to continue to buy, buy and hoard more than their wardrobes or storage places could hold.

We are all turning out to be capitalist slash consumerist bitches. I too am one. Environmentalism seems to have conveniently found itself outside the window.

Exploiting That Freedom

24 Jan 2012 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

First impressions count. As kids we are taught not to judge a book by its cover. As adults we are told that it is important to look best when presenting oneself the first time: ideally an interview.

However, there is a certain segment of society who has facial issues, literally. I for one, empathise with them. Or maybe I am one of them. I do try to look presentable, most of the time at least, but still, it is just not enough. Since adolescence, I looked the “type” who disobeyed her parents, smoked up and hooked up with random boys. Maybe the penultimate and the last phrases have been blessed with hyperbole. Point being, I looked “that” type.

In reality however, things weren’t as rosy. I was given freedom, apparently lots of it – as I was told by some of the kids who grew up. But I never really found the necessity to well, misuse it. I’d rather stay at home and sleep with no disturbances as opposed to bringing friends over and throwing Hollywood-inspired house parties. The only house parties I did enjoy were the ones I threw for my Sims. I was allowed to go wherever I wanted to, and leaving aside the exception of say, two or three instances, my Mum and I never seemed to disagree on where I could and could not go.

Also, I apparently have a very cool Mum. She is cool, I agree. But I think what makes her “cooler” is the fact that my Sister and I made it a point, since childhood to tell her things, as opposed to keeping it away from her. Thereby we were given freedom, and most importantly trusted.

But that is not the point is it? Maybe due to the overlapping of ethnicities, us siblings may not have the typical Melayu babath mukha or sharp Kandyan features. So what if my sister likes experimenting with her hair and I enjoy drilling my ears with jewellery? Conventionally speaking and observing, such activities speak of questionable upbringing, indecency and of course the unfailing “that” type.

So I am told that I look Indian now. Furthermore, my accent compliments my features.

In non-Indian clothes and regular jewellery, all I need is a bottle on my left and a cigarette in my right.

Passive smoking is cool, the cigarette tastes a little blah to me though.

Bottles are a big no-no.

It doesn’t make a different though does it?

She is still “that” type.

Oh fuck em all. Re-evaluate your own kids before you make your pass your blessed verdict on others.

The Ugly Truth

22 Jan 2012 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The title remains blank. Clearly we all don’t start by naming things. It might work for some people, if not all.

Possibly as a result of watching too many serials, – yes besides the fact of transforming to a bed-potato, since “couch” doesn’t seem to work in my context, – it gets you thinking about: how much of time you waste, how you could be productive otherwise, why the director made him stand that way while saying those lines to her, why does the storyline seem familiar and to an extent applicable to your own?

A good friend was telling me lately of the story of the idiot box. How information is easily available and  how we make even less of an effort in extracting it. We are indeed in the “Age of the Stupid”.

I say I can’t write any more because my muse – Heaven forbid the existence of any months before – has found its way out of my, uhm soul? Whatever I do write now, or blog, since that has become synonymous to writing, is pathetic. But then, it’s not as though good writing for equivalent to my writing anyway.

I hardly read. My writing is horrendous. I’m worried about how fucked up the world is that I refuse accept my own fucked up life.

A title finds it self to the post.

I assume that I find my work-life balance.

We all live in our own little assumptions, interpretations and complexities. No one really gives a rat’s bottom about an awful post, an equally awful blog and a fucked up title. Nope, no one really cares.

We No Longer Have Time to Save the World

16 Jan 2012 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I used to be an environmentalist. Then I came to India.

With all due respect to Indians, this is not me being my usual racist ways but I am truly and deeply concerned. The country has astounding rates of poverty – no I do not know the figures but I know it is bad – it is overpopulated – contradict me, but when there isn’t room to budge in the street, yes it is crowded – and no one is doing anything about it.

The place where I live: a reputed girls hostel in an even more reputed educational institution. I was surprised at how much of food – purchased from outside – was wasted, how many lights were left on, taps unclosed but then my bewilderment was nothing in comparison to what it was upon the dawn of Christmas. While gaudy may perhaps be the ideal term to describe the decorations, the number of lights used – not even CFL mind you – were just, so many. To my utter amazement, while most electricity was consumed by these ugly – I know that everything is beautiful in its own way, but even the term grotesque beauty would not suffice to describe the pathetic state of the driveway.

That’s when it dawned on me. Please note that my observations are entirely objective.

The West maybe is not so keen on letting the East come to power because they wouldn’t want consumers of a similar nature in this world. On the contrary, like most in the East, I do agree that the West would not want to share their resources with the rest of the world. Bah. There goes our Economics lesson on the equal distribution of resources flushed down the toilet.

But then again, I cannot help but blame natural human tendencies. The more we earn and the more our purchasing power increases, the more we buy. We make ends meet and even surpass it, at times.

I agree that God did not create us perfect so that we could find our purpose in this world. Just today I was justifying man’s flaws and the search for purpose. But what happens when all our flaws submerge to the same big fat ugly truth?

I used to be an environmentalist. Then I grew up. I manage my expenses less and I’m also ashamed of myself when compared to what, my philosophies once were. India only opened my eyes to the reality I was denying.

The Journal

12 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Creative Writing - Or So I Assumed, Home Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I like writing in my journal. It helps me keep track of my life over the years despite the intervals being utterly irregular. It helps me recollect my memories, learn from my mistakes, pat myself on the back occasionally over a few achievements. It makes me laugh, cry or even crib when reading certain entries. I began maintaining a journal since I was eleven solely based on my passion to write.

***

She liked to write. She thought that she was good at it. Dumb headed twat. Why did she not realise her true potential? Why did she not realise that she cannot write and what people say about her writing is a whole load of horse shit? After all, what became of that seventy odd poems of hers? Flushed down the toilet eh?

***

As a result of my like for writing, which over a period of time grew to love, I decided to make a career out of it. A journalist. Not as prestigious as it may sound: severely underpaid and awfully overworked. But Kitty, life was good. I enjoyed what I  did so much that that the little smoke-filled wooden box became home. Life was indeed good. I had never been happier.

***

She always wanted to write about lifestyle, maybe a little on fashion – despite her minuscule knowledge on the subject and unforgivable fashion faux pas -  as opposed to heavy-weight articles that completely changed her “style” of writing. But then again, who said that she could write? Wasn’t that a self-made, self-believed delusion?

***

Her passion for writing made her a journalist. For a while at least, before she  succumbed once more to the pressures of education and academics. She knew that she is not a “book-person”. She apparently considered herself, “street-smart”. Between you and I Kitty, she was neither. She was just dumb.

***

Kitty, today I am not myself. I feel dyslexic.

***

Creating Impressions

10 Oct 2011 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My sister always said that a good impression was more important than a better expression, or vice versa, or something to that extent. But what happens when creating either a good impression or an expression was simply not your thing? What happens, when your “true self” is revealed only upon someone getting to know you?

While in school, I apparently “looked” the many boyfriends type and spoilt. Or so they said. Little does anyone know that I never had a boyfriend while in school! As for spoilt. I won’t say that I am not. But having observed spoilt and unspoilt children, my age I would say that I was average spoilt; spoilt to the basic extent that any parent would spoil their kid – if that made any sense to anyone.

Now in college, I look the type who smokes, smokes up, drinks and parties. For the love of Susan. I like partying only because I love dancing. However, the good side to keeping quiet and bearing all “assumed impressions” the last few years, wisdom has begun to surface? Wink wink.

Mama used to pinch the living lights out of me under the table to keep me from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or worse, the right thing at the wrong time. As for the faux pas, but that’s getting better. Phew. However, once the backdrop of formality is removed, life only gets better. But that is not what is in question today, is it? Most people are more interested in what lies on the surface as opposed to actually seeing what is beneath that layer of social malfunction. Sigh. FML.

27 Club

24 Jul 2011 2 Comments

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

So Amy Winehouse is dead. I can’t believe that she actually is, even after the lapse of a day. It were the same sentiments that I felt when Britanny Murphy died two years ago. Funnily enough I was never ardent fans of either, maybe just took it for granted that they would be around forever. I suppose that happens with everyone around.

Amy’s death which seemed to dominate all ten Trending Topics on Twitter yesterday made me realise that the world still cares. Or maybe I say that to make myself happy. With regard to Trending Topics however, it took a slightly different turn with a hash-tag of #blamethemuslims. Naturally, I was flabbergasted. More than a hundred people die in developing countries everyday – I might be generalising but then again, don’t we all? But Oslo is bombed and a few hundred die and suddenly it is newsworthy. Not that it shouldn’t be, by all means it should. But the fact that it has been given as much attention in comparison to, for example the West Asia attacks? In an attempt to justify the mentioned statement I would put it down to Media’s nature of reporting that of which is new, current and all that jazz. For all we know, West Asian attacks have been going on forever, Gaddafi has been in power for eternity.

I was told by a very close friend that Bangalore is so mundane that it lacks the desired inspiration to blog. Recalling the words of my Editor with a slight modification to them, the emergence of inspiration or opportunity solely depends on one’s own ability to create it.

Living in this what I would call “inhospitable” land has not only made me more appreciative of the place from where I come from, but has also given me ample time to think, rethink and look in to the possibility of “What If?” in the context of the news that I hear around me.

Thus I wonder, what if things didn’t turn out the way it did? What if, Amy Winehouse was still alive, would she have given up her addictive tendencies some day? What if, I were to give up media, rejoin the musical scene and to be knocked down by a drunk driver and die at twenty-seven?

Afore mentioned ample time provided also has its downsides. One’s ability to look to the most unlikeliest of probabilities in the period of extreme hormonal reaction. Sigh.

The Realisation

12 May 2011 1 Comment

by jillinthebox90 in Home, No Expectations Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Hypocrisy is the in-thing. At least for me it is. It may have stemmed from the previous post, I do not know but it was an aha moment indeed upon realising that it was.

Hypocrisy began with me wanting to blog. Me genuine want to not work and blog. But this genuine moment was lost to writer’s bloc and sheer desperation. It was then that I realised that abundant time derived from the no work was not the only thing required to write a good post. The term “good” is subjective and is open for debate.

Hypocrisy is defined as an act of pretence of something to that extent. I was never the one up for acting.

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