25 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, Personal Profiles
Tags: 2012, All Smiles, Awareness, Blissfully Beautiful, Blogging, First-timers, Journalism, Soul Searching, Sri Lanka, Work
The past month has been a whirlwind of events. Well sort of. Sure there were times when I didn’t do absolutely anything and there were many times and nights I have spent with people twice my age – don’t get me wrong here, it’s not what you think I can assure you that – but like everything else in my life, I adapted. I enjoyed talking about their mid-life crises and education and correcting the older-adults when they went wrong on topics that I have read more on.
Then there was the internship. We all know what happened to last year’s one 
It was a ball of fun and thank Heavens for The Editor – yes Boss I know you are reading – I worked for some 10-15 days of the 30 day internship.
This time around, I got serious. I worked for 26+ days, my internship diary tells me – guess it added up to the few days I took off while Akki was here – and I did learn a few things. Or a lot. I don’t know.
I learnt the importance of language. Thanks to my running off to India and my extensive use of English, my Sinhala is atrocious. This statement is made based on the fact that I have studied in Sinhala for nearly fourteen-and-a-half years of my life. I learnt that at a place where Sinhala and Tamil are the most familiar, English plays the role it was ideally supposed to: it acts as common ground to those who are not well-versed in the other official language. English neither takes over the existence of everything else, nor does not-knowing the language be a moment of shame. My many moments of shame arose when my Sinhala failed me and my non-speaking-Tamil-Muslim-ness came into being.
I also learnt the joys and the downside to a 9-5.30 job. I loved my time at FT. It was good fun and a heap of work, Sunday-Friday. That’s worse than college. However, over here it was fairly chilled out – rather I was fairly chilled out, not that great for an intern I suppose – and I did have time to do things after work and I had a weekend to call my own. I also did find myself switching off after 4.30 pm – fact – and the zombied look I would scare my folks every morning.
Another, uhm “lesson” that came my way was the futility of education. I have been debating on this topic for the past year and thus contemplating on the necessity of reading for a second degree. For starters, we learnt Vegas! Vegas is so old school and not as cool as FCP! Fine, we all don’t have Macs. But there’s more. The past two semesters boasted of two subjects: Audio and Video Editing and Television Appreciation and Film Studies. Besides the types of shots we learnt for both, I didn’t really find myself “applying” whatever nonsense they taught us. I found myself learning – not re-learning or applying but learning from scratch – new things everyday so much so that I felt a burden to all these lovely people here who were only more than willing to help. Especially the tea folks who knew that I loved my mildly-caffeinated beverage 
Realisation: I am not cut out for television. I don’t really know what I am cut out for actually, but I know that television may not be my thing. I found myself coming in the way of so many people and even a little interview with one bloke would require the service of so many others! In this aspect I found print media way cooler with or without the availability of those lazy photographers.
Of the career choices I see ahead of me however, I did realise that I would like something that is internet-related and sitting in one place with a pc sounds good – minus the fat and other job-related pains I would acquire.
I learnt much about concerns that I would have not read about otherwise. I think my previous posts have been impacted greatly by my readings done here. Those who know me will know for sure not to dare speak of politics, law etc with me. I would not only die of boredom but would have one too many blonde moments to handle. Now, not only could I have a half-knowledge-d discussion about the Constitution and its Amendments, I can also speak of the, this party, that party, tea party business. This place has made me way cooler.
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24 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Apathy, Awareness, Blogging, Developing Countries, First-timers, Hypocrisy, Journalism, Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Politics, Sri Lanka, Trying Times
I am fascinated by astronomy. At night if time and location permit I look up and try to identify the little constellations I know and make my own in secret. A much awaited visit to the Planetarium recently instilled in me once more my childhood liking for stars and jazz.
The Daily Mirror today – thank you for all the updates – brings us news of Sri Lanka joining the global space race. This was immediately after reading that the country would be ready to implement the LLRC recommendations.
At first I questioned at the necessity of appointing a Committee (headed by the Presidential Secretary himself) to implement the recommendations made by the Commission. While I do appreciate the division of labour and delegation of responsibilities, the caricature of a few politicos hovered over a desktop at a conference table fails to escape my mind.
Proceeded by this realisation, I read on Sri Lanka’s venture into the stars. The numbers are big. I think they are even bigger than the tsunami relief that we received. We all know which seas they were washed into.
Despite being a space enthusiast I am not for Sri Lanka launching its first space satellite. It would have been more apt if it happened a few years ago as an initiative taken with Arthur C. Clarke involved – yes fan girl talking.
Yet now, I see this as an ill-planned, ill-timed course of plan, like most other things we see happening today.
P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy. More content could be obtained from the front page story of the Daily Financial Times.
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23 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Apathy, Blogging, Developing Countries, First-timers, Ignorance is not always blissful, Journalism, Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Politics, Sri Lanka, Trying Times
Some people sure do act fast. So now SF is to have a new political party lu: “Democratic Party”, Daily Mirror tells me. I thought I read somewhere that upon being released from court that he won’t be allowed to partake in politics or something to that effect. Pardon the lack of information but politics is just not my cup of tea. I understand it and am interested in it, in bits. Like business and law. In my defence, I am still learning.
When we were in school, I remember Social Studies very well. After leaving school I realised that not only did they not teach us “how to socialise” but they also did not teach history that escaped the shores for Sri Lanka – not the syllabus I was taught at least. Such a fail. My knowledge of the World Wars and Revolutions has been extracted from the internet and literatures.
One of the things I learnt for Social Studies – yes bits have retained in my memory – was the difference between developed and developing countries, the first world and the third world. I remember – I hope I have remembered right – that having two major political parties, the Government and the Opposition.
Clearly, our country is not heading in that direction. Especially not with the new political party joining the x-number of unheard and unseen opposing political forces. Not that I’m against Fonseka – it may seem like it is so – but no I am not against him or his actions. I am apathetic towards the state of politics, I haven’t voted to date – I had legitimate issues being a December born – and I don’t live in the country.
Would it be too idealistic and juvenile to ask for a joint Opposition with well “opposing” points of view?
I think yes.
P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy.
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22 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Apathy, Awareness, Blogging, First-timers, Hypocrisy, Journalism, Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Politics, Sri Lanka, Trying Times
So Sarath Fonseka was released. I leave out “General” because firstly, it genuinely slipped my mind with him constantly being referred to as “SF” online and secondly, as I saw on Twitter yesterday, he was stripped of his title as “General” so I am correct in that sense – I would like to believe.
This is not meant to be a “political” post – pray if there was anything as such – but merely a perspective of an apathetic – the apathy which is driven by ignorance, and nonchalance – individual who has been diligently observing the reactions of the general public and media to SF’s release.
Driving back from work yesterday I see the Pelawatte-Talawatugoda stretch littered with bits of paper. Uncle tells me that crackers were lit in celebration of SF’s release. Having been in the edit room the entire day and mobile net being down, I did not have time for my regular news updates. I feel nothing at his statement and I look away.
The problem of my not caring for SF’s release came up a few times at home. I simply told my Mother that at least people knew where he was. I mean the whole world did right? But what about Prageeth Eknaligoda? I don’t know much of his case either – yes I am aware that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing – but what about him? He’s been MIA for a while now. What about Lasantha Wickrematunge’s murder? Have the assassins being brought to justice yet?
My concern for the mentioned names is not a result of my brief experience in media. SF was and still is from the looks of it an individual, people would not miss out on, for his war victories, Presidential candidacy or court case. However, those abducted by white vans – someone tells me that they’ll ban white vans soon, such a fail course of action in my opinion if it were to be implemented – are soon forgotten. Or it gets better: they are remembered and prayed for on human rights day, press freedom day or are brought in when an opportunity arises for them to voice their opinions. I’m not one for petitions or rallies as I fail to see the point of it, but at times I suppose it is the last resort for some.
In the midst of the country’s kickass development strategy and the probable marina plan, one thing’s for sure: Sri Lanka needs to get its priorities straight whether it be by implementing the LLRC recommendations, the Thirteenth Amendment or searching for those missing individuals.
P.S. – Jillinthebox90 apologises for the (many?) glitches in this article in terms of content, language and accuracy.
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18 May 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Awareness, Blogging, First-timers, Home&Co., Kill All Boys :), Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Rejuvenation of the Renaissance, Soul Searching, Sri Lanka, Trying Times, Yindiar, Youth
The phrase “closing shop” is more familiar but I felt that would indicate hope, of the shop reopening the next day and that was not entirely what I wanted to convey. Chapter seemed more like it. One would always reopen a chapter only as means of reference – at least that is what I do.
The influx of posts – yes three days in a row is an influx indeed with my average of two a month – is not a result of frustration or anger. Maybe slightly but not entirely. Sadness has also overtaken me. Sadness and realisation. My sister flew back to Dubai today, that didn’t really feel that great – still in the process of accepting. I’d be flying back soon to the land of masala and no spice. I have an extra paper to take now thanks to my nonchalant behaviour and external influences.
In the pudding – a word influenced by my last tweet – I also try to thrown in a little hope, a little strength to move on and close chapter.
I’ve written only one-hundred-seventy-now-two words. It’s too short a post I feel. But then again, it’s not as though I really want to write more. My little stream of consciousness ran out of steam post-lunch.
Next chapter: Do not stop for lunch while writing.
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20 Apr 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Awareness, Developing Countries, Ignorance is not always blissful, Islam, Journalism, Oppression, Sri Lanka
This post is ironic as I too am presently in a media organisation, but then, I could justify my statement by stating that I do not work for a “news” organisation and therefore the post does not necessarily apply to me. However, the post is being written from the perspective of a citizen and not a media personnel.
Just today I was Googling – since most inspiration is drawn from this domain – for news happening in the country as I needed a story having lost one of my leads. The only story which seemed newsworthy to pop up on Google was that egg-less chicken. All I could hope for is that this being a one-off case and not something that would happen more frequently. I like my eggs and chicken as two separate entities.
A few hours later, something newsworthy did come up. The Dambulla mosque attacks or protests or something to that extent – I am not too sure. Why? Because there was no information on the internet – again, since that is our first source of information. Tweeps from Sri Lanka waited patiently online to hear any piece of information with regard to what was happening in Dambulla. A foreign correspondent from BBC was supposed to be responsible for the “breaking” of this news. Pray, on behalf of all citizens I ask, where were our local news organisations during this time? Print and electronic media have their local or regional correspondents and where were they during this vital hour? Hats off to Ceylon Today for being the first official media for providing a few lines with regard to the situation but what about the rest of the media?
People turn to the fourth estate for information. When this information is not provided when something “new” or “news” takes place, pray then, what is the purpose of media after all?
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19 Apr 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Black, Blogging, Home&Co., Individuality, Journalism, Soul Searching, Sri Lanka, Trying Times, Work, Youth
First thing I noticed was that WordPress seems to have changed. At least a tad bit. Second thing I remembered was that I don’t quite remember as to why I even wanted write a post. Besides the obvious pangs of frustration, occasional dents of depression, I think there were more urgent matters that seemed to find itself in need of a post but pray, they seem to have been forgotten. Like most other things in life.
Home has been good to me so far. Lots have happened within these few days. Some good. Mostly – I won’t say bad but rather that of which that left me confused. The remaining well, that of which should find itself to my unconscious.
Much has changed down here. The city looks beautiful. The Government should be commended, undoubtedly. However, one could not help but think if the pretty painted picture is not a façade meant to drape the reality of things. Personally, I feel that CoL is atrocious. Yet I sense that people are happy. Or that might just be my bubble speaking. Or it might only be in my house. That Southern Expressway they all speak of is pretty darn good, drove down to Unawatuna a little too soon maybe.
I suppose one thing most people find difficult to accept, especially after coming back home after a lapse of an year or more – for others – is the fact that the country and everyone around them have changed without them. It’s not as though we expect development, life and all activity to cease while we are not around but the fact that people get used to you not being around is a bit of a bummer I feel. Most people might not agree, but be away for a long time and come back and whoa, you’d be amazed. I could only imagine the plight of the diaspora. I can merely sympathise with them as the picture painted in front of them passing Katunayake is not different, but new.
Work is going good. I realised after having worked in Sri Lanka for a little while. that living in the island makes me lazy. I take things as it comes and I don’t seem to have that compulsion to plan. I neither am motivated to work. Which is a bad thing. Maybe I might even be diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I suppose unless I live alone, I wouldn’t understand the burden of responsibility and independence. I also enjoy having my compulsive tendencies and my need to govern and take life by the horns. Yes, I like being control-freak.
Okay so WordPress hasn’t changed. I just used something new.
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16 Jan 2012
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2012, Apathy, Black, Blogging, Developing Countries, Devil #win, Environment, Faith, Hypocrisy, Ignorance is not always blissful, Life in a New Land, Pressure, Soul Searching, Sri Lanka, Trying Times, Yindiar, Youth
I used to be an environmentalist. Then I came to India.
With all due respect to Indians, this is not me being my usual racist ways but I am truly and deeply concerned. The country has astounding rates of poverty – no I do not know the figures but I know it is bad – it is overpopulated – contradict me, but when there isn’t room to budge in the street, yes it is crowded – and no one is doing anything about it.
The place where I live: a reputed girls hostel in an even more reputed educational institution. I was surprised at how much of food – purchased from outside – was wasted, how many lights were left on, taps unclosed but then my bewilderment was nothing in comparison to what it was upon the dawn of Christmas. While gaudy may perhaps be the ideal term to describe the decorations, the number of lights used – not even CFL mind you – were just, so many. To my utter amazement, while most electricity was consumed by these ugly – I know that everything is beautiful in its own way, but even the term grotesque beauty would not suffice to describe the pathetic state of the driveway.
That’s when it dawned on me. Please note that my observations are entirely objective.
The West maybe is not so keen on letting the East come to power because they wouldn’t want consumers of a similar nature in this world. On the contrary, like most in the East, I do agree that the West would not want to share their resources with the rest of the world. Bah. There goes our Economics lesson on the equal distribution of resources flushed down the toilet.
But then again, I cannot help but blame natural human tendencies. The more we earn and the more our purchasing power increases, the more we buy. We make ends meet and even surpass it, at times.
I agree that God did not create us perfect so that we could find our purpose in this world. Just today I was justifying man’s flaws and the search for purpose. But what happens when all our flaws submerge to the same big fat ugly truth?
I used to be an environmentalist. Then I grew up. I manage my expenses less and I’m also ashamed of myself when compared to what, my philosophies once were. India only opened my eyes to the reality I was denying.
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04 Sep 2011
by jillinthebox90
in Home, No Expectations
Tags: 2011, Black, Blogging, Developing Countries, Faith, Ignorance is not always blissful, Individuality, Journalism, Life in a New Land, Miserable, Planner, Pressure, Sri Lanka, Trying Times, Work, Yindiar, Youth
Probably as a result of all the developmental psychology, I tend to apply the theories to my life and see, if I too have been a part of all these teachings while growing up. I suppose I have, and I don’t know which came first – the teachings and its application or a genuine sense of confusion – but my instinct tells me that at present it is Erikson’s Identity vs. Identity Confusion that has come in to play with my life now. Yes, I know that it is for adolescents, but as the lecturer said, the latter part of one stage tends to overlap with its proceeding stage. Yes, let’s go save my ass.
As a child of four years I wanted to become the President. CBK was my role model then and as purple was her favourite colour, it was mine too – the purple three wheelers I insisted to go in! Then came the eras of the doctor, mechanical engineer, the pilot – which hung around for a LONG time -, psychologist, then after A/Ls I started working as a journalist. When I left to India last May, I knew two things: I liked to write, or rather I enjoyed writing and I like all the subjects I was going to study.
Now however, a year a little few months after studying I have realised a few more things: I still like all my subjects; I have to do honours in either psychology or literature, if not it would be problematic during post-graduation; communication, journalism and media in particular cannot be taught – the best of journalists (at least the ones I know whom I consider to be the best) comes with aeons of experience (think that applies to most professions in Sri Lanka); I am inclining towards literature, though I have no idea what I would want to do after.
One of the biggest problems I faced when I went back home was the question of, ‘What would you do after your degree?’ Clearly I don’t want to do Masters immediately. I wouldn’t mind, provided it is during the evening or weekend and I could work simultaneously. I know I want to stay in Sri Lanka, but yes there is that slight craving for London (I have no idea where that came from). I don’t mind teaching, for a while but no, not a life long career. Research? Lots of issues to deal with there.
Why couldn’t times be like that of our parents? When opportunities were limited and we didn’t have to dwell long and hard on our futures. Yes, I know I’m being lazy and irresponsible now. Everyone would be a doctor, or an engineer or wait, that is my Indian mentality coming in to play now.
Or why couldn’t we just stick to the ambitions or career choices we opted for while children? Why can’t I be the next President. Yes, you may roll your eyes.
When I was fifteen, I wanted two things in life before I turned nineteen: ten piercings and at least one published book of all that poetry. I would turn twenty-one this December and I have seven piercings and all that poetry locked away.
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26 Jul 2011
by jillinthebox90
in Home, Personal Profiles
Tags: 2011, All Smiles, Blissfully Beautiful, Blogging, Feminism, Home&Co., Pink!, Sri Lanka, Women, Women In Islam
Dear Mama,
This post has been coming a while, however I was in question as to how it must be framed. Thus I thought, what better and easier way than a letter? It’s not one of those reply-me ones, but rhetorical to a great extent.
As I said, this has been a long time coming. I cannot thank you enough for what you have given me and on the same lines, I cannot but cringe at those moments I always cried for more. Among Akki’s and my friends you were always nicknamed the “coolest”. However to Akki and I, you are beyond being merely “cool”.
Looking back at my twenty-one years, of which I remember around fifteen, more or less, I’ve seen a woman who has risen to a height in terms of her family and now her career. We are indeed proud to be your daughters.
I always think to myself especially at those times when I ask you something and you answer, ‘Would I be able to answer all the questions my daughters ask me?’ The most common response blinks in front of me: Google. However, what’s amazing about Mama and her generation is that they never needed Google. Now I wouldn’t even know how to write my research paper without it. I am a core tech-buff, I agree, whole heartedly. However, the picture of me educating my child on puberty with a reader on my palm, headset on my ear and a constant eye on the laptop laying on top of the coffee table in front of me awaiting that very email, [Heaven forbid what other technological developments would be available fifteen years from now] does not seem too appealing.
Mama, you would not believe how truly grateful I am about you not turning Akki and I into book-worm. Even if you attempted so, I sincerely doubt that we would’ve been any good at it. What you did was very commendable and looking back at it, prudent. Our Mama did not cut off our allowances or give us less food or do something that would be considered a “punishment” if we were to horrible at our exams. One of the reasons we did not do all that bad was because, she had faith in us that we would do our best, and indeed we did, attempted to or at least tried not to fail Being in University now I am glad I do not have the pressure being haloed over me and as a result of which am able to partake in everything my now-weakening flesh and bones allow me to.
Mama, you taught me how to cook. Rather, I observed and learnt to cook looking at you make all those yummy dishes. Dammit. I want beef.
This letter would be incomplete if I don’t add a realistic touch to it and tell you Mama that you need to work on your patience. Yes you do have patience, I agree, having brought up to unruly monkeys like Akki and I all by yourself. However, you don’t have enough patience to teach me to drive nor teach me to read Arabic. LoL.
With that, I would like to say thank you once again. For bringing us in to this world. For raising us to be responsible children. For teaching us that we don’t need a man to get through in life. For finding yourself a charity-buddy, always-friend-in-need and others’-first, me-last man.
All the best in all you do Mama. We will be there with you every step of the way.
Love,
Akki and Nangi
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Dear Mama,
