I found love, in page 186
16 May 2012 2 Comments
in Home, No Expectations Tags: 2012, Awareness, Blogging, First-timers, Ignorance is not always blissful, Individuality, Journalism, Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Planner, Pressure, Soul Searching, Understanding The Opposite Sex, Women, Work, Youth
A recent tweet by @Laugh it got me thinking and of course, laughing.
For those who know me, I am the last person who should be blogging on “love” as we know it. For what it’s worth, I feel that my opinion of two cents is in fact required. That’s what most bloggers try to do anyway yes?
I was never a romantic person. Still am not. I find Valentine’s Day silly, holding hands and ladida and whatever else that follows. As opposites do attract and the formation of the binary equation is required, I’ve dated guys who are well, comparatively more romantic than I am. Which I think is a good thing, after all, someone needs to have that romantic bone.
For me, being in a relationship used to come down to one thing: compatibility. It’s a lesson I learnt from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” while analysing the relationship between Elizabeth and Darcy. I firmly believe that love is to some extent momentary – the definition and time period of this word could vary for all of us – and therefore, as you have the potential to fall “in” love, there is also a chance of you falling “out” of love. If compatibility between the two is there however, the relationship should, and will work.
Based on experience, I found another factor that contributes towards the sustenance of a relationship: communication. It’s something I definitely to work on. I have a “list” of people – I’m not kidding – who matter to me. I also am a workaholic – to some extent when I am not on vacation! I also believe that relationships needn’t be prioritised over work #FailSeni Thus despite studying and being involved in a communication related industry, personal communication for me is a huge fail.
Like my choice of career and many other things in life, I don’t know what to do now. Not with regard to relationships or any darn thing that seems to revolve around me. One thing I do know for certain is that my presence online is increasing, which I guess is a good thing. At least I have a virtual life that I could speak highly of #Win
To Mama, With Love
26 Jul 2011 4 Comments
in Home, Personal Profiles Tags: 2011, All Smiles, Blissfully Beautiful, Blogging, Feminism, Home&Co., Pink!, Sri Lanka, Women, Women In Islam
Dear Mama,
This post has been coming a while, however I was in question as to how it must be framed. Thus I thought, what better and easier way than a letter? It’s not one of those reply-me ones, but rhetorical to a great extent.
As I said, this has been a long time coming. I cannot thank you enough for what you have given me and on the same lines, I cannot but cringe at those moments I always cried for more. Among Akki’s and my friends you were always nicknamed the “coolest”. However to Akki and I, you are beyond being merely “cool”.
Looking back at my twenty-one years, of which I remember around fifteen, more or less, I’ve seen a woman who has risen to a height in terms of her family and now her career. We are indeed proud to be your daughters.
I always think to myself especially at those times when I ask you something and you answer, ‘Would I be able to answer all the questions my daughters ask me?’ The most common response blinks in front of me: Google. However, what’s amazing about Mama and her generation is that they never needed Google. Now I wouldn’t even know how to write my research paper without it. I am a core tech-buff, I agree, whole heartedly. However, the picture of me educating my child on puberty with a reader on my palm, headset on my ear and a constant eye on the laptop laying on top of the coffee table in front of me awaiting that very email, [Heaven forbid what other technological developments would be available fifteen years from now] does not seem too appealing.
Mama, you would not believe how truly grateful I am about you not turning Akki and I into book-worm. Even if you attempted so, I sincerely doubt that we would’ve been any good at it. What you did was very commendable and looking back at it, prudent. Our Mama did not cut off our allowances or give us less food or do something that would be considered a “punishment” if we were to horrible at our exams. One of the reasons we did not do all that bad was because, she had faith in us that we would do our best, and indeed we did, attempted to or at least tried not to fail 
Being in University now I am glad I do not have the pressure being haloed over me and as a result of which am able to partake in everything my now-weakening flesh and bones allow me to.
Mama, you taught me how to cook. Rather, I observed and learnt to cook looking at you make all those yummy dishes. Dammit. I want beef.
This letter would be incomplete if I don’t add a realistic touch to it and tell you Mama that you need to work on your patience. Yes you do have patience, I agree, having brought up to unruly monkeys like Akki and I all by yourself. However, you don’t have enough patience to teach me to drive nor teach me to read Arabic. LoL.
With that, I would like to say thank you once again. For bringing us in to this world. For raising us to be responsible children. For teaching us that we don’t need a man to get through in life. For finding yourself a charity-buddy, always-friend-in-need and others’-first, me-last man.
All the best in all you do Mama. We will be there with you every step of the way.
Love,
Akki and Nangi
Importance of Being Pink
03 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in Home, No Expectations Tags: 2011, All Smiles, Blissfully Beautiful, First-timers, Kill All Boys :), Mera Sixty-Deka Duith, Pink!, Understanding The Opposite Sex, Women, Youth
This post has derived from watching one too many flicks and listening to too many sappy songs. Those very movies that makes you go “Aww” and shed a tear at the end of it all, upon the female protagonist finally being united with her soul mate or the most good looking actor in the story. After which, you lie on your bed and contemplate of what you’ve seen and put yourself in her shoes. In terms of music it is those very songs that start to make more sense to after some boy has succeeded in making you his captive audience.
Being a girl I will blatantly admit that I like watching flicks. They make me happy and yes I do go “aww” – silently – and shed tears, lots of them depending on my hormonal functioning at that moment *LoL*
I like them better when I can relate to it. In other words, when the movie actually depicts my social life or relationship(s). Oh, that is when the actual fun starts. You put yourself in the shoes of the heroine or female protagonist and imagine… let’s not go there.
Once the movie is over, you meet and greet girlfriends who have already watched it and recommend it to those who haven’t. Discuss it over coffee, dinner and skype; in the midst of all this, external storage devices are madly passed between one another during class, malls, slid under doors and through some random boy acting as a messenger. This is followed by downloading theme songs and sending it to one another and the flick gains popularity.
Once in a way when the content becomes very applicable to a real life situation, you try to get that boy of yours to have a look see in to it, and oh! fail miserably. Chances are that if you make them watch it with you, they would only fall asleep.
Boyfriends are important in the am-I-straight check-list. But girlfriends and room mates, flicks, chocolate, pink and a little bit of blonde-ness are more important.
The Power of Music: Resonance
01 Oct 2010 6 Comments
in Creative Writing - Or So I Assumed, Home Tags: 2010, Blissfully Beautiful, Rejuvenation of the Renaissance, Women
The resonance makes all present do
As they feel. The Art that is true
Has preached and instilled in me
Such virtues. Indebted to them is me.
The resonance makes some gaze in to
The distant. Dream of what I no not.
Others engage in activities they call
Their own. Some in slumber.
Maketh it go by music I tried.
Yet in vain lest I should’ve known.
‘Tis the Art that determined;
Not one’s own appraisals.
The resonance drives some down
A path to reality. The others down
What is beautiful, serene and ever
Tranquil. Some reside in slumber.
The resonance bring peace of mind
To some. The others attempt at
Portraying pieces of their minds
To others. Alas. The motive lost.
October 01, 2010
2209h
Politics: Apathy. Concern.
11 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
in Home, No Expectations Tags: 2010, Apathy, Black, Doomsday, First-timers, Politics, Trying Times, Women, Youth
Not something I thought I’d ever blog about; oh well, there’s a first time for everything! Since politics, politicians and their despicable behaviour are the trending topics in the arena, I thought why not. Besides, working for a financial newspaper keeps you on a safe side as well
Just a few things that crossed my mind in terms of politics. The question everyone keeps slamming me in the face with is, “It’s your first vote. Who will it be?” Sigh. This is NOT American Idol, or in a more local context Sirasa Super Star.
In my opinion I frankly don’t think that either of these blokes would bring anything that is promised. On one hand, the country might turn in to a military regime; on the other hand, it might just continue to go on as it is. As my Principal / English teacher would put it in, “between Scylla and Charybdis.” For those of you who are not too familiar with the Greek odyssey, it’s a situation where either of the alternatives in the situation is no better in comparison; both options were fatal.
Getting to the point, it’s not as though I chose to be apathetic and ignorant (yes very much!) of the situation where politics is concerned. I suppose what I’ve seen since I was little moulded me in to who I am today.
It’s funny how this should come from a girl who wanted to be the President when she was five. A girl who was CBK’s biggest, that she only went in purple three-wheelers. Sigh. Such is youth of today. Realisation is: It’s safer to be apathetic rather than being concerned (refer: JVP insurrections)
Justification of the Niqab?
08 Nov 2009 6 Comments
in Home, No Expectations Tags: Black, Islam, Oppression, Women, Women In Islam
The Niqab (veil) as one knows is worn by most Muslim women especially in the Middle Eastern region. The veil covers most parts of the face revealing only the eyes and the forehead; but the latter, rarely. In most cases, the male of the household makes it compulsory for the females of the family to wear the Niqab upon attaining age. Nevertheless, what one does not realize is that the Niqab is not made obligatory in Islam. While wearing the Hijab (head scarf would probably be the simplest of explanations to non-Muslims) is made compulsory, the Niqab is not. If it is worn, it should be the choice of the woman. It should not be enforced upon her. Besides, it is interesting to also note that Allah has forbidden wearing the Niqab when performing prayers and Haj – which also happen to be two out of the five very significant pillars of Islam.
MEN – who needs them anyway?
09 Oct 2009 2 Comments
in Home, No Expectations Tags: Feminism, Gender Equality, Kill All Boys :), Understanding The Opposite Sex, Women
Probably as a result of the most shocking news that did cause quite a stir in my busy yet peaceful world, my views on feminism keep growing dangerously strong each passing moment. Though poets – yes I do classify myself to be one though it is not one that I am writing – are allowed exceptional licence in terms of language, I believe that applies only to grammatical connections and not the (inappropriate) use of language. *sigh-smile-yet continues to keep her eyebrows raised*
Though my present state of mind is due to the latest report that was felt by someone near and dear to me, I must say that my perception regarding the subject matter – feminism – has been heightening since of late. Some call it maturity, others define it as immaturity.
I am not the biggest fan in terms of polygamy, yet as it is allowed in my religion – yes, I am a Muslim – so I do stand by what’s been decreed. Simultaneously, regardless of the fact of me considering myself a feminist, voice out for equality and justify polygamy – for spiritual reasons – that does not make me agree to polyandry. A person who practices polyandry in other words could be defined as a ‘legal’ prostitute. Trying to sit on the fence, I believe that one man could be satisfied with one woman and vice versa.
‘Men’, think women have been created with many complications. (Probably far more superior to their level of intelligence!) Women on the other hand find it hard to cope with the fact that a man is so simply created, thereby making him insignificant. I believe this is the point where all men shut the window in order to stop reading. Please note that everything I include in my commentary is that of what I have seen, learnt and experienced. Yes, I have matured and do partially justify the fact that one man differs from another. And that certain attributes that may be seen in a majority of men which could be classified as negative, necessarily may not be prevalent in the remaining minority of men. Blaming it on my present psyche, I cannot but help notice the irony embedded in the phrase “necessarily may not be prevalent”. In other words there is a considerable percentage where the entire race of men been well, what in English slang one may refer to illegitimate children as. I believe this is the point where men with hardcore anti-feminism policies hire hit-men to be sent after me.
It’s not as though I don’t believe in Obama’s concept of ‘change.’ Yet, I must say that he speaks of a hypothetical situation; a classroom situation adopted by a teacher to make the explanation simpler. I personally believe that change is something that one should adopt themselves. It’s not something that could be plastered in the forehead of another. I feel the same way when it comes to environmental conservation and action against climate change. Similarly, I believe it is the same when it comes to my discussion of the male gender. Whist all men may have the possibility of turning out to be a replica of the negative genre, there may be a very insignificant number of males who strive at changing themselves at being a better person; to set an example to their fellow gender; to prove to women like myself that ‘not all men are the same’. But the conflict I face is that, regardless of having come across this insignificant number, the stance that has been created initially will always be there. I suppose it’s a personal effort – a very difficult one I must admit – for women such as myself to change our attitude. Believing in fate, I honestly have no clue as to why in the midst of changing, does another example of the negative genre spring up thereby contributing to the already deteriorating perspective!
In relation to the topic, – “MEN – who needs them anyway?” - I must say that the only reason I ever agreed to people being married or considered marriage myself to one unfortunate soul on some unfortunate date in the very distant future is for the sake of children. I personally, love children and at one point I wanted ten of them. That was of course very much before I was greatly made aware of inflation and over-population. But due to advancements made in medicine and technology we are given ‘artificial insemination.’ “MEN – who needs them anyway?”
Second of all, I must say that the stereotypical portrayal of a – speaking locally – Sri Lankan, man in a household is of the father sitting in the living room with his feet on the coffee table reading the newspapers and the son playing some computer or outdoor game; while the mother would be busily engaged in the kitchen preparing meals whilst the daughter would get about household chores or bring the his father tea. It’s not that I am influenced by Sri Lankan tele-dramas. I’m not television’s biggest fan anyways. But from the little I’ve seen of it, this is what is portrayed in both the real and reel worlds. In conclusion, men are of no use to the household. Unless of course having the exception of fixing the UHF antenna or some such one-off incident. “MEN – who needs them anyway?”
Fellow feminists I doubt your agreement, but for those on the fence or pro anti-feminists all I can say is that, women are most capable of handling most tasks by themselves – please note the use of term ‘most’ and not ‘all’ – and the physical presence of men is more secure but not always more economically cooperative. Men are still respected and ‘looked up to’ only as it has been decreed by God who is far more superior to any man or woman and also for reasons we feminists chose to overlook!
